December 16, 1572
A reliable source let us know today, that there has been an uproar in the province of Holland last monday. In the city centre of the Hague, loud noises could be heard last monday evening. During a speech by the Grand Pensionary of Holland, spectators heard rattling, ticking and whistling noises. People initially thought this was the work of devils. Bystanders suspected that Krampus was at work at the Binnenhof. People anxiously closed their doors and windows against the suspected evil.
Investigation into the cause of the noises showed that it concerned some peasants. Apparently, the peasants disagreed with recent decisions made by the regional states,the Stadholder and Grand Pensionary. These fustilarians however, had no idea why these decisions were made, since none of them were able to read the pamphlets that have been given out. There will be no prosecutions
~Special thanks to our correspondent, J.H.